Each day began the same. I woke up and pulled the curtains open, looking across the Manhattan skyline from the 28th floor of the Marriott Marquis. Down on the street directly below my room, the lights at Junior’s Restaurant were already on, inviting me to step back in time. Just like the diners of the ’50s and ’60s, you don’t go to Junior’s only for the food. You go knowing you’ll get great music and a waitress who asks “What can I get you, honey?” while filling up your cup with strong black coffee. What I didn’t expect was that my morning ritual would so strongly resonate with the theme of the Association for the Advancement of International Education conference I was attending, one that called us to examine diversity and difference, and how our institutions and systems both encourage and inhibit these.

In his poignant essay “America Needs a Miracle,” writer Andrew Sullivan details two radically different takes on the state of American society, both of which agree on a fundamental point: the political and social crises we now face in the United States originated in the laws enacted in the 1960s, setting us on what was perhaps an inevitable trajectory. While the Civil Rights Act and Immigration & Nationality Act of 1965 have undoubtedly done great good, they also opened the floodgates. In the decades that followed, the shifts in population and protections for minorities expanded opportunities for many, creating far more diverse communities that often lacked the tools and understanding to easily adapt.

Globalism brought this to a head, amplifying differences not only in ethnicity, but also socioeconomic status. More importantly, it also replicated the tensions and conflicts we faced in other countries around the world. as cultures negatively reacted to unprecedented levels of migration and technological advances, and in turn diversity. In many cases the animosity is grounded in legitimate concerns: job losses, economic inequity and cultural misunderstandings. It’s not an issue of whether our systems were, and are, right or wrong. It’s about acknowledging that they’ve pitted us against one another, creating clans that ultimately define us: liberal and conservative, left and right, black and white, and countless other allegedly diametric opposites.

Sullivan captures this eloquently: “If humans simply cannot help their tribal instincts, then a truly multicultural democracy has a big challenge ahead of it. The emotions triggered are so primal, that conflict, rather than any form of common ground, can spiral into a grinding cold civil war. And you can’t legislate or educate this away.” Yet legislate and educate are precisely what each side has attempted, but with a blunt hammer swung with insults and blame. Through it all we forget that our issue is no longer solely a lack of diversity. It’s the failure to recognize that we all have differences, and that those differences will always exist. We should be seeking to understand these, not using our voices and positions to dominate in a vain attempt to create utopian communities and workplaces.

The opening “un-keynote” of the conference, delivered by Berkeley professor Dacher Keltner, clearly highlighted our shifting understanding of power wielded in this manner. As opposed to the traditional Machiavellian conception based in fear, coercion and force, Keltner argues that we are increasingly understanding how empathy, courage and generosity allow us to more effectively influence others and instigate change. Far from simply being a theory, this stance is grounded in research. From children in a classroom to billionaires on Wall Street, numerous behavioral studies consistently point to the universal way in which those we are most willing to respect and follow draw upon this common set of tools and, crucially, use gratitude and humility to ground themselves as their power grows.

In the 1950s famed educational psychologist Benjamin Bloom proposed a classification of learning objectives that has since become one of the most influential theories in the education world. Identifying three domains—cognitive, affective and psychomotor—Bloom demonstrated that cognitive skills build upon one another, moving toward higher levels of learning. Knowledge, representing the memorization and retention of information, is identified as the lowest rung of this taxonomy. Now, over 50 years later, education has yet to fully address the impact of that statement.

The reality is that our understanding of intelligence and learning has evolved far beyond the ability to list capitals or memorize historical dates. We’ve come to understand that success in school and the workplace depends on far more. As voiced most famously by Google in recent months, most industries are increasingly seeking employees who possess abstract skills, including leadership, creativity and flexibility. More importantly, they want these employees to be capable of communicating with others effectively with clarity and empathy. But where do we see these skills on student progress reports? How do we know if they are good communicators or passionate participants in community service?

Yet despite being backed by research, demanded by universities and supported by employers, the teaching of these skills is still a secondary concern at many schools around the world. Though they try to align their philosophies and curricula to these new understandings, they are all too often grounded in an old-fashioned mindset that depends on the delivery of knowledge and standardized testing. Those that do succeed still often fail to realize that the universities themselves no longer want the straight-A student in every case. They want to know what makes students different. They want to hear their stories.

Education needs something different, and a small number of top schools around the globe have begun working together on a new initiative that aims to not only incorporate 21st century skills into their programmes, but also provide universities and employers with the means to evaluate them. Zurich International School in Switzerland, Yokohama International School in Japan and NIST International School in Thailand—all three International Baccalaureate schools—worked collaboratively this year in the launch of the Global Citizen Diploma (GCD), an optional qualification that will be offered alongside the high school and IB diplomas.

As universities and employers have increasingly acknowledged, traditional grades simply do not provide enough information about the abilities and strengths of students. The GCD focuses on the abstract skills that existing programmes do not directly measure, requiring students to reflect on their growth in areas such as leadership, community service and global citizenship. Because students in schools such as NIST already take part in numerous activities that develop these skills, the GCD does not require a great deal of extra work, but rather their willingness to explore the meaning of their experiences through reflections and presentations.

Through the GCD, a student without top grades could demonstrate to universities that he led an initiative to solve development problems in a small rural village. Another could showcase the photography project she undertook to raise funds for abused women in a neighboring country. Yet another could produce a video documenting the launch of his own technology business. All too often students like these are measured by a number—a number that says nothing about their capabilities or potential for success. The GCD gives them the opportunity to tell their stories and reveal what makes them unique as learners.

Since its creation the GCD has generated a positive reaction from universities, while the students who chose to pursue it alongside their IB diplomas have described an experience that enabled them to confidently express their passions and abilities to others. More importantly, it helped them develop and demonstrate the skills that both universities and employers are so desperately seeking. Though the GCD is an option for students at the participating schools, it clearly fills the existing void and offers the means for students to tell their stories, and to connect learning experiences in a way that once again makes education relevant to the needs of a changing world.

You’re not just a number.

Though I had written this as an editorial for work, it aligns with my own beliefs about the changes needed in education and the need to develop future leaders through holistic learning.

We all have insecurities. Whether it’s picking apart our appearances, obsessing over misspoken words or imagining how we could have made better choices, we are all too often our own worst critics. No one is completely immune from nagging moments of self-doubt, including the most famous among us.

Daniel Radcliffe, better known to the world as Harry Potter, once expressed anxiety over his height. But in an amusingly indelicate moment of reflection, he overcame his doubt by focusing on something positive that was downright obvious to everyone else: “I used to be self-conscious about my height, but then I thought ‘$#@& that. I’m Harry Potter!” Like others, Radcliffe’s self-worth was tied to something external that could not be changed.

What he realized was a simple yet powerful concept: our shortcomings do not define us, and you can make a conscious choice to control those emotions and define yourself anew. It requires appearing confident even when you don’t feel it, creating a perception that becomes reality. David Aaker, in his excellent book Brand Leadership, argues, “To be dominant, the perception of dominance must emerge—and that requires visibility”. The principle applies not only to corporations, but also individuals.

The fear of communicating with others because of our perceived flaws “negatively impact[s]…organizational relationships and work quality/quantity, and educational success”. Personal and professional growth requires moving beyond your own perceptions and doubts, and taking risks. When it comes time to decide who gets hired, who gets promoted and who gets a raise, it will more often than not be the person who demonstrates self-assurance and composure through words and actions.

Becoming that person is not impossible.

Understand that everyone else feels the same way you do.

I was quiet and introverted when I began high school. Keeping to myself, my daily ritual consisted of going to my classes and heading directly home—no clubs, no activities, no sports. The apparent ease that others displayed as they talked, laughed and socialized was alien. Though I could carry on a conversation and had friends, I always felt that I harbored an awkwardness that somehow isolated me more than my peers.

Fast-forward twenty years. At an elegant work dinner, we invited prominent members of our community to sample our new catering service and hear about the school’s expanded vision. Glass in hand and smile locked in place, I listened in on conversations and rehearsed conversation starters. Chatting with a coworker, I smiled as she muttered how uncomfortable she felt at social events. When I pointed out that a few others and I frequently felt the same way, she shook her head incredulously. “How could you possibly feel like that?! You’re so natural when you have conversations!”

I had to laugh. Every person she viewed as being charismatic and outgoing had expressed a similar dislike toward this type of social situation. We unconsciously magnify our own perceived weaknesses and believe them to be unique, a fact clearly borne out in psychological studies in self-perception. The truth is that they are usually no more significant than anyone else’s. You can learn to be a more social, confident person.

Recognize that change is a choice — one that takes effort.

“That’s just who I am!” People often believe that you are who you are, and that combination of personality, intelligence and skills will remain relatively fixed until the day you die. That is utterly wrong. The tabula rasa model may be defunct, but so too is the claim that evolutionary biology exhaustively determines the self. We have steadily developed a better understanding of the means through which we can transform our personalities and even intelligence through repeated behaviors.

Thought, emotion, and action trigger neural activity, which can lead to a reorganization of the brain, shaping future psychosocial experience. From this perspective, we are not the passive products of neurophysiology and heredity; rather, through our behavior in the social environment, we become active agents in the construction of our own neurobiology and, ultimately, our own lives. (Neuroplasticity, Psychosocial Genomics, and the Biopsychosocial Paradigm in the 21st Century)

While positive psychology has far to go in demonstrating the extent of its effects, the American Psychological Association does provide several guidelines for changing behavior through personal and social means. Lest we venture too far into new age territory, it’s important to note that positive psychology certainly doesn’t promote the idea that good vibes are all you need. The bottom line is that transforming your perceptions in order to build greater confidence, communication and leadership skills requires dedication and time.

More importantly, you need to recognize that this process requires a level of discomfort. Just as an extensive workout feels daunting and exhausting for someone who has never exercised, transforming long-held perspectives may feel overwhelming. Yet the only way to change is by overcoming that reluctance, and simply being more social and positive. Try striking up a conversation with a stranger in public. Join Toastmasters or another public speaking organization. Each choice reinforces the skills you’re targeting, and it becomes easier over time.

As you consciously make an effort to become more confident and assertive, associate your choices with positive thoughts and cues, particularly if an experience initially feels negative. By doing so you prime your brain: training it to repeat desired behaviors. In The Upside of Irrationality Dan Ariely explains this as self-herding: our tendency to reflect back on our choices and repeat them under the assumption that they must have been reasonable—even when the emotional connotations are gone. In other words, you simply need to reorient your perspective, consciously choosing to be more positive, and your brain will naturally begin to reinterpret experiences through that lens.

Remember that you always have room for improvement.

In my role as an administrator at one international school, I continually recommended that staff members pursue a master’s degree—not solely because it would provide professional development, but because it also afforded them the opportunity to interact with their peers as learners. One teacher, who ranked among our finest, heard me say the same thing year after year, but remained reluctant. He had created a powerful self-perception, one that didn’t recognize the value of further education.

Earlier this year I received a call from that teacher, thanking me for encouraging him to join the program and describing the positive experience he was having. It simply took one decision to set him on a different path. Education never ends, and by positioning yourself as a learner, you’re not only continually developing your abilities, but also demonstrating to employers that you are self-motivated and willing to lead by example.

However, don’t pursue learning solely for the sake of advancement. Many of the skills that have led to further opportunities for me as an educator stemmed from personal interests—reading and writing, technology, and design. These form the core of your brand, the elements that distinguish you from others. Gaining knowledge is only the first step. Make connections, apply skills in new ways and always be willing to learn more. If you’re a teacher, take business classes. If you’re a salesman, learn to paint. Try new things and learn how they can relate to other fields and professions.

Most importantly, remember that you’re not the only one going through this process of personal branding, seeking to highlight your ability to lead, connect and communicate. Confidence should always be accompanied by a healthy dose of humility and the recognition that you owe others a debt of gratitude. Professional growth is not a zero-sum game. In a previous article I emphasized the importance of transparency in any modern organization. Be transparent, be honest and give credit where it’s due.

As you begin to transform your perspective, find new strengths and learn new skills, you’ll begin to realize that you’ve built a perception—a story—that represents you. Tell that story, and you’ll have a brand just as magical as Harry Potter.

“Daniel Radcliffe” by Joella Marano is licensed under CC BY 2.0